Lucky wholesale Bastard: My Life, My Dad, and the Things I'm Not Allowed to Say on outlet online sale TV outlet online sale

Lucky wholesale Bastard: My Life, My Dad, and the Things I'm Not Allowed to Say on outlet online sale TV outlet online sale

Lucky wholesale Bastard: My Life, My Dad, and the Things I'm Not Allowed to Say on outlet online sale TV outlet online sale

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Product Description

In this New York Times bestselling memoir, the announcer of the biggest sporting events in the country—including the 2017 Super Bowl and this century''s most-watched, historic, Chicago Cubs–winning World Series—reveals why he is one lucky bastard.

Sports fans see Joe Buck everywhere: broadcasting one of the biggest games in the NFL every week, calling the World Series every year, announcing the Super Bowl every three years. They know his father, Jack Buck, is a broadcasting legend and that he was beloved in his adopted hometown of St. Louis.
 
Yet they have no idea who Joe really is. Or how he got here. They don’t know how he almost blew his career. They haven’t read his funniest and most embarrassing stories or heard about his interactions with the biggest sports stars of this era.
 
They don’t know how hard he can laugh at himself—or that he thinks some of his critics have a point. And they don’t know what it was really like to grow up in his father’s shadow. Joe and Jack were best friends, but it wasn’t that simple. Jack, the voice of the St. Louis Cardinals for almost fifty years, helped Joe get his broadcasting start at eighteen. But Joe had to prove himself, first as a minor league radio announcer and then on local TV, national TV with ESPN, and then finally on FOX. He now has a successful, Emmy-winning career, but only after a lot of dues-paying, learning, and pretty damn entertaining mistakes that are recounted in this book.
 
In his memoir, Joe takes us through his life on and off the field. He shares the lessons he learned from his father, the errors he made along the way, and the personal mountain he climbed and conquered, all of which have truly made him a Lucky Bastard

Review

Praise for Lucky Bastard

“[Buck] unleashes his inner stand-up comic, sprinkling the text with surprisingly funny and often self-deprecating wit.”— Booklist

“With a comic yet reverent approach to his life and broadcasting, Buck effectively captures the merging of his career and the popularity of American sports.”— Publishers Weekly

“Honest, poignant, and full of fun and heart, this is the kind of sports book any fan will love reading.”—Bustle

“With light humor and darker emotion, Buck candidly calls the game of his own life.”— Kirkus Reviews

“A steady flow of humor, love, pain, loss, and genuine human emotion.”— Sports Illustrated

“Emmy Award–winning sportscaster Joe Buck pulls back the curtain on both his public and private lives in the entertaining, but poignant autobiography Lucky Bastard. . . . This is a quick, captivating read.”— The Missourian

About the Author

Joe Buck grew up in St. Louis, where he still lives. He has two daughters, Natalie and Trudy, and is married to fellow sportscaster Michelle Beisner.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Part 1

 

Can You Hear

Me Now?

 

Chapter 1

 

Uh-Oh

 

If you bought this book just to confirm that I am anidiot, I have bad news for you:

 

You will have to wait a few pages.

 

Hang in there. You can do it.

 

In 1994, I started broadcasting NFL games on FOX. I hadnever broadcast a football game in my life, yet FOX liked me enough to give mea chance.

 

With live broadcasting, you can prepare as much as youwant, and that can make it a little easier, but at some point you just have todo it. You never know what situations might arise, and you don’t even reallyknow what skills you have. I quickly learned that the good Lord blessed me withone of the most important physical gifts for any sportscaster: a good bladder.

 

You have probably never thought about this. You probablywatch game after game, night after night, eating and drinking without anyconcern at all for when the guys doing the game get to pee. But we’re human. Wepee. I don’t think Bob Costas and Al Michaels will mind if I tell you this.

 

I suppose that, like with everything else, each announcerhas his own style. Jim Nantz may unzip and say, “Hello, friends!” before firingat the urinal. I mean, I don’t know. I haven’t asked Jim. But sometimes,finding a chance to pee is harder than you might think, especially in some ofthe older stadiums, where the bathrooms are not always conveniently located.

 

You have a limited amount of time during a commercialbreak to get to your destination and get back. You may have to fight your waythrough sportswriters, which doesn’t make them happy, but they can miss a playand survive. I can’t.

 

Veteran broadcasters understand that in many cases, it iswise to start unzipping before you even arrive. You have to be efficient, oryou pay a price later. My father told me: “Never run to a microphone.” Youdon’t want to be out of breath. So you have to be able to get to the bathroomfast, catch your breath while you pee, and then calmly walk back into thebooth.

 

In December 1994, my otherwise trusty bladder betrayedme. What can I say? Even the great organs have a bad day at the office once ina while. I was doing a Packers-Falcons game in Milwaukee’s County Stadium. Itwas a memorable game for a number of reasons. The Packers used to play games inMilwaukee every year, but this was their last home game there. Packers starSterling Sharpe got injured on what seemed like an innocuous hit, and it endedhis career.

 

At some point during that game, unbeknownst to viewersbut extremely beknownst to me, I had to pee so bad that I could barely talk.The problem was that, at County Stadium, the football press box was really farfrom the restroom. You had be Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible to get there intime. There was a catwalk, some kind of pulley-and-ladder system—there mighthave been a zip line. It was rough.

 

With a few minutes left in the first half, I was dying. Ihad to go so bad. But in football, we have a mix of longer and shortercommercial breaks—and the way the game went, all of our commercial breaks atthe end of the half were only thirty seconds long. There was no way I could getout of the booth, to the bathroom, and back in thirty seconds. I had a solidforty-second stream in me, plus that long commute. Forget it.

 

Every time we went to break, I asked, “How long is thisone?”

 

Thirty seconds.

 

“Jesus!”

 

At some point I explained my problem to my spotter, Gary.A spotter is the person who helps me during an NFL telecast “spot” who made thecatch, who made the tackle, or who blocked a field goal.

 

I said, “Gary, I’ve got to go, and I’ve got to go now.”

 

He was like, “I don’t know what to do.” This was not ascenario they address in spotter school.

 

I said: “I’ve got to pee. I can’t hold this any longer.This is not going to work.”

 

Then I said: “Give me something.”

 

Gary handed me a water bottle. Nice thought, and Iappreciate the ingenuity, but no. Not going to work. It’s December inWisconsin, I’m wearing this big parka, and anyway, I can’t hit that target.It’s too small. Who am I—William Tell?

 

I knocked the bottle out of Gary’s hand. I was besidemyself, but I was still calling the game. I said, “All right, next break, I’mgoing to open this parka. Give me the trash can.”

 

He said, “Really?”

 

I said, “Hand me the fucking trash can in the next break.If it’s not more than thirty seconds, I’m peeing in the trash can.”

 

All right, Joe!

 

Play stopped. We went to commercial.

 

I said, “How long is this break?”

 

Thirty seconds.

 

I demanded the trash can. There was a young woman in thebooth, and I asked her to leave. I put the trash can in front of me, Iunzipped, I was ready to go, and...

 

Oh no.

 

Not now.

 

Stage fright!

 

You’ve got to be kidding me. I couldn’t pee. I was in thebooth, I had my parka open, I didn’t know what cameras were on me, and Icouldn’t bring myself to pee.

 

I was standing there, unzipped, waiting for thefloodgates to open, but they wouldn’t. It was like the Heinz commercial whenyou have to wait for the ketchup to come out of the bottle.

 

Finally they’re counting down: Ten...nine...

 

And suddenly it’s Niagara Falls.

 

On the first play from scrimmage after the break, BrettFavre took a snap as I kept peeing. People thought broadcasters had their dicksin their hands when they called Favre’s games—this time I actually did. Favrelooked to his right and threw to Sharpe down the sideline.

 

“He’s going to go for a touchdown!” I said as I keptpeeing in the trash can.

 

Wow, you do kind of sound like an idiot.

 

What? That’s not the story about me being an idiot. Thatwas just a man heeding nature’s call while calling a touchdown. We’re onlygetting warmed up here.

 

The first time I did play-by-play for a major-leagueteam, I was twenty years old. It was 1990. The St. Louis Cardinals were playingat Shea Stadium in New York. My father, the famous broadcaster Jack Buck, letme borrow his private plane to travel to New York, because my own private planewas in the shop, getting its gold-plated cupholders shined.

 

I was working with an announcer named Al Hrabosky. TheCardinals were playing a doubleheader, because there had been a rainout. Wewouldn’t be on air for the start of Game 1, because other programming wasalready scheduled.

 

The producer said, “We’re going to come on the air atsix. Whatever is going on, whether we’re in the middle of Game 1, betweengames, or into Game 2, we’ll come in wherever we are, recap what’s happened tothis point.”

 

OK, that sounds great.

 

Wait. What?

 

“How do we do that?” I asked.

 

He said, “Well, we’re going to run highlights and you’lljust talk through the highlights.”

 

That sounds simple, except that I had no idea how to doit.

 

They said, “You’ll find your way through it.”

 

Well, if the producer says I will find my way through it,then I will. He must know what he’s talking about. He’s the producer. Heproduces. That’s his job.

 

So I did what I thought you were supposed to do when youwent on TV: I slapped too much makeup on my face. The stage manager, BeckySolomon, was making me up, and it was heavy stuff. I felt like Liza Minnelli. Iwas in this little booth in Shea Stadium on a scorching-hot summer day. I feltlike I was broadcasting in an oven.

 

At 6:00 p.m., we were in the ninth inning of Game 1. Ithought, “Oh, my God. They’re going to run a recap of the entire game and I’mgoing to have to talk through it, and I’ve never done highlights.”

 

So we came on the air. I said, “Welcome to Shea Stadium!Here we are in the ninth inning of this doubleheader. We’ll look back when wecan here and show you how we’ve gotten to this point.”

 

I went through the highlights, and I was awful. I had noidea how to do them. It was just terrible television. But at least I gotthrough it.

 

I thought, “The worst is over.”

 

ADVICE FOR YOUNG BROADCASTERS: Never tell yourself “Theworst is over.”

 

When the game ended, they said “OK, in between the games,you and Al are going to do a little stand-up.”

 

Stand-up? Like Richard Pryor?

 

I said, “What does that mean?”

 

I was told, “We’re going to stand up and talk about whatyou’re going to see. In the second segment, Al is going to jog down andinterview one of the players on the field, and you’ll throw it to him.”

 

Uh, OK.

 

I did the stand-up, mimicking what I had seen on TV as aboy, and finished with: “When we come back, Al is going to go down to the fieldand talk to one of the players.” We went to commercial. Al ran out of there.Now it was just me. I was sweating. The makeup was running onto my shirt. Itwas like Broadcast News, when Albert Brooks sweats through the newscast.

 

We were getting ready to go on the air. The producer wasin my ear:

 

“Five...four...three...”

 

I said, “Welcome back to Shea Stadium!”

 

But I was sweating so much that my earpiece popped out ofmy ear and fell to the floor.

 

I should have just said: “I don’t know what I’m doing! Ifyou think I only got this job because my father is a beloved broadcaster,you’re right! You all win! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to lie down fora bit.”

 

I was talking gibberish, repeating myself, and I wascompletely on my own. Thankfully, I could throw it to Hrabosky. Or so Ithought.

 

“Now,” I said, “let’s go down to the field and check inwith Al Hrabosky, who has a special guest. Al?”

 

Al?

 

Hello?

 

Al.

 

Al...?

 

AL!

 

The red light in front of me was still on. I knew fromwatching The Brady Bunch that this meant I was still on TV.

 

Al couldn’t find his microphone in the dugout. Peopleworking on our broadcast were trying to tell me I couldn’t go to him, but Icouldn’t hear them because my earpiece was on the floor.

 

Ha-ha, that’s so pathetic—

 

Nope! That’s not the story that confirms I’m an idioteither.

 

That’s just a little dose of my own embarrassment foryour reading pleasure.

 

I could tell you about the time I interviewed a playerwho was standing next to a woman, and I said, “Is that your mom?” and hereplied, “No, man, that’s my wife.” But even that is not the story thatconfirms I am an idiot.

 

OK. Here we go.

 

In some ways, I’ve always felt like I took after mygrandfather Joe Lintzenich. He played for the Chicago Bears in the early 1930sand served in the Navy in World War II. He was a loyal husband, a lovingfather, and a wonderful grandfather.

 

Also, he was bald.

 

Yes: bald. Nothing scares a man more than that word. Ittrumps audit, terrorism, and herpes. Nobody wants to be bald. Go ask any man,“Who would you rather look like: Brad Pitt or Telly Savalas?” Nobody says,“Kojak!”

 

Bald people just look weird. I’m not worried aboutoffending bald readers here, because half of them are patting the tops of theirheads, convincing themselves they aren’t that bald, and the other half knowthey look weird, which is why they go to great lengths—sometimes ridiculouslengths—to avoid going hairless up top. It doesn’t matter how much money theyhave either. Look at Donald Trump. He is a billionaire, but what he reallywants is hair. That’s why he goes around the country with that dust mop on hishead.

 

You know what? I understand. I have been so deathlyafraid of my retreating follicle troops that, when I was twenty-three, I askedthe Cardinals manager—who shall remain nameless, especially to those who later watchedhim manage the Yankees to four world championships—about his hair plugs. I hadseen (redacted)’s hairline do its dance move—two steps back and one stepforward. I could tell he’d had plugs.

 

I got the name of his guy, called, and set up an appointmentfor a postseason sprucing-up in October 1993. Just a little sprinkling theinfield, if you will. My first wife, Ann, and I flew from our hometown of St.Louis to New York and stayed at a friend’s apartment in Manhattan, and I wentin for the operation.

 

There is a medical term to describe the operation:fucking barbaric. I’m not the toughest guy in the world, or even in mybroadcast booth, but I’m not a whiner. I have had a broken neck, two backsurgeries, dental surgery, and a fractured sternum, and I haven’t complainedtoo much. But this hair thing is otherworldly.

 

It starts by “numbing up” the back of your head witharound fifteen shots of Novocain. They keep giving you more shots of Novocainuntil the pain subsides. Pro tip: The pain NEVER subsides. There is a reasonthat “get scalp pierced with a needle” is not on anybody’s bucket list. Andafter you get the shots in the back of the head, you get shots in the front ofthe head. Those hurt even more.

 

Not long after the third shot goes in, you hear a voiceof reason inside your head, asking: “What the fuck is wrong with you? Are youreally doing this for HAIR? Who CARES? You don’t really need hair! WoodyHarrelson and Bruce Willis get work and get laid! They are doing FINE!” But youcan’t cancel an appointment when you are in the middle of it.

 

The procedure involves moving hair from the back of yourhead to the front. It’s like if Hannibal Lecter took up gardening.

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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 54.5 out of 5
489 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
I hated Joe Buck
Reviewed in the United States on May 1, 2020
Never liked Buck at all. Pompous. Arrogant. Privileged. That is what I thought of him. I only got the book because another review said if you hate Buck buy the book. The book was phenomenal. Honest, candid, and obviously well written. Joe takes you through his... See more
Never liked Buck at all. Pompous. Arrogant. Privileged. That is what I thought of him. I only got the book because another review said if you hate Buck buy the book.
The book was phenomenal. Honest, candid, and obviously well written. Joe takes you through his incredible life without hiding anything. Not a dull chapter or page in the book. If you do hate Joe Buck - get this book. If you love him get it as well. I have a new found respect for him and while I may be reluctant to admit this - I actually like and respect him. Excellent book.
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Matt
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Not what the free sample makes it out to be but still a great book
Reviewed in the United States on January 22, 2017
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and I feel like I have a better understanding of the person behind the public image of Joe Buck. Based on the free sample, I expected the book to be a lot of stories "from the inside" of the broadcast book. However, the book is... See more
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and I feel like I have a better understanding of the person behind the public image of Joe Buck. Based on the free sample, I expected the book to be a lot of stories "from the inside" of the broadcast book. However, the book is a lot more about his childhood, professional struggles and successes outside of the broadcast booth itself, and personal fears.

If you''re looking for a tell all book like NFL Confidential or Slow Getting Up, this book probably isn''t what you looking for. If you''re looking for a more conventional autobiography of Joe Buck than it. What is special about this book, most biographies I''ve read provide historical information about a person but feel very detached. Reading this book felt more like getting to know someone over a couple of drinks at the bar.

From a writing perspective, it''s easy to read and each chapter has a main theme. The only issue is it can be hard to figure out what happened at the same time as each chapter weaves throughout his life differently. Additionally, for piecing things together it assumes the reader knows a lot more about sports (such as when two teams faced each other in the World Series) than I did. That said, I could look up any missing information easy.
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SarahA
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Any fan of Joe Buck will love this book. For those haters, he shares tons of embarrassing stories!
Reviewed in the United States on November 25, 2016
Full Disclosure: This review is by an unabashed Joe Buck fan. His voice is the voice of televised sports for me growing up, as his father''s voice was the voice of sports for many years for older generations. I didn''t even know his dad was a famous broadcaster until I asked... See more
Full Disclosure: This review is by an unabashed Joe Buck fan. His voice is the voice of televised sports for me growing up, as his father''s voice was the voice of sports for many years for older generations. I didn''t even know his dad was a famous broadcaster until I asked someone years ago, "Why does everyone hate Joe Buck? I love the guy."
So after admiring his work during every World Series and Fox NFL Super Bowl I was so excited to read this book. Of course a fan is going to be interested and entertained by it but I think even his haters will find a lot to enjoy and hopefully this book will give them a different perspective on this very "lucky" but also very talented "bastard."

I wish I was a "little" older (well not really, but) so that I had listened to a game that the elder Buck called but Joe''s book definitely shares so many insights on the great man that Jack Buck was. His stories about the "old days" in sports broadcasting are so interesting.

Hard to pick out a most favorite quote but this one where Joe is writing about his first tattoos is great."The other meaning of Bastante [one of his tattoos] is: I can''t love my kids enough. I can''t enjoy my job enough. I can find infinite joy in those things."

Very good book---entertaining, interesting, and for a fan, it was great reading about Joe''s journey in life and work.
8 people found this helpful
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Emilio Corsetti III
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Loved the humor
Reviewed in the United States on September 30, 2017
I''ve lived in St. Louis for most of the 80s and 90s. To me and many others, the voices of Jack Buck and Mike Shannon were synonymous with summer. I was there when Joe Buck started his career. I was one of those complaining that Joe only got the job because of his father.... See more
I''ve lived in St. Louis for most of the 80s and 90s. To me and many others, the voices of Jack Buck and Mike Shannon were synonymous with summer. I was there when Joe Buck started his career. I was one of those complaining that Joe only got the job because of his father. But as Joe writes in his book, name recognition will only get you so far. You still have to deliver.

I''ve been impressed with Joe''s ability to handle major sporting events with such ease. His behind the scenes take on how he has gotten to this level is an entertaining read. I especially enjoyed his humor. I laughed out loud throughout this book.

One particular pregame skit, which wasn''t in the book but has stayed with me nonetheless, involved Joe and his football partner Troy Aikman. Troy and Joe are getting ready to go on air. A group of people attends to Troy: fixing his hair, brushing his suit coat, applying makeup. Joe is shown standing all alone. "Can I get a bottle of water," Joe asks someone offscreen. A water bottle comes flying into the shot and hits Joe in the chest. It''s that kind of self-deprecating humor that permeates this book. Here are just a few examples: Joe talks about climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro with his daughter and how he wasn''t the outdoors type. "If you see me going for a hike, I am probably looking for my golf ball." In the same section, he talks about how the trip to Africa will keep him away from his future wife for two weeks. "A two-week trip does not sound long, I think we''ve had commercial breaks during the Super Bowl that lasted that long." Joe also knows how to tell a funny story. He talks about interviewing a couple of Seattle defensive players before the Superbowl with Denver. Joe said he had a sense that things were not going to go Denver''s way. At one point one of the players said, "We don''t care what Peyton Manning does at the line of scrimmage. He can say ''Omaha'' five hundred times. We''re not moving." I can hear Peyton yelling "Omaha" right now in that lopsided loss.

Joe also gives some insight into what it''s like to be a sports announcer in today''s politically correct climate. He describes how his fear of backlash on social media had affected his on-air performance, always careful not to make a comment that might stir up a controversy.

If you have watched any major sporting event over the last fifteen-plus years, you have listened to Joe Buck. He is one of the best at what he does. I do think, however, that the US Open should be left to the golf analysts who cover the game week in and week out.
3 people found this helpful
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Daniel L. Driewer
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Loved it. I''m a big sports fan (well really ...
Reviewed in the United States on July 6, 2018
Loved it. I''m a big sports fan (well really if you''re not a sports fan why read THIS book in the first place?) love Joe Buck and, he was (as his dad was for decades) the Cardinals baseball announcer. The books an easy quick read. The author writes in an easy flowing... See more
Loved it. I''m a big sports fan (well really if you''re not a sports fan why read THIS book in the first place?) love Joe Buck and, he was (as his dad was for decades) the Cardinals baseball announcer. The books an easy quick read. The author writes in an easy flowing cadence with the story starting out focusing on Buck''s dad, Joe''s early days then into his announcing days into present day. He drops names but in a casual funny way - which is really the whole style of the book. Glad I read it!
One person found this helpful
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Bill Lane
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Excellent writer; excellent sportscaster
Reviewed in the United States on June 16, 2021
I love the detail, history of his family, father, the Cardinals, and his personal exploits. He has been through a lot. I have followed the Cards since 1964, so it was great hearing some of his backstory. I wish he''d have cut some of the language, and in the... See more
I love the detail, history of his family, father, the Cardinals, and his personal exploits. He has been through a lot. I have followed the Cards since 1964, so it was great hearing some of his backstory.

I wish he''d have cut some of the language, and in the book''s title. He seemed to revel a bit in that, a little like Howard Stern or even George Carlin. COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY ! (Maybe it''s because I''m so much older that it bugs me a bit.)
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Jake
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A good way to spend a few hours
Reviewed in the United States on June 13, 2017
I was curious if he would keep his St. Louis focus while trying to reach a national audience. He does. to the point that if you are a St. Louis person and Cardinal fan it really resonates. If not, less so. Buck really broods over how he is perceived, way more than me.... See more
I was curious if he would keep his St. Louis focus while trying to reach a national audience. He does. to the point that if you are a St. Louis
person and Cardinal fan it really resonates. If not, less so. Buck really broods over how he is perceived, way more than me. I always thought he is a good broadcaster.
There are plenty of anecdotes, some of them really good, and the book moves quickly and well.
If you are interested in his dad, Jack Buck, you get all you could ever want. Some would say too much, but not me.
For me, this was a good way to spend a few hours.
One person found this helpful
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Philip Calcagno
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Revealing Sports Biography
Reviewed in the United States on March 3, 2017
Revealing work by a very good sports announcer. We get to read about some of the things that go on during a sports broadcast. We also find out about Buck''s relationships with his fellow announcers--not always flattering. He doesn''t pull any punches about his life or his... See more
Revealing work by a very good sports announcer. We get to read about some of the things that go on during a sports broadcast. We also find out about Buck''s relationships with his fellow announcers--not always flattering. He doesn''t pull any punches about his life or his families. I could have done without some of the vulgar language. But certainly an interesting read and look at what goes on behind the scenes.
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Top reviews from other countries

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Mogli
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Super
Reviewed in Germany on September 20, 2021
War ein Geschenk. Ist super angekommen.
War ein Geschenk.
Ist super angekommen.
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George E Georgian
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Four Stars
Reviewed in Canada on May 26, 2018
very good. on time.
very good. on time.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
If you only read one book this year, you''re pathetic. But make it this one.
Reviewed in Canada on February 25, 2017
I''m a very tough critic . I read a lot. I loved this book. Sad when it ended. Read it!
I''m a very tough critic . I read a lot. I loved this book. Sad when it ended. Read it!
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de grace louis
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Très satisfait
Reviewed in Canada on January 6, 2021
Détente
Détente
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Dave
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Happy I purchased this book!
Reviewed in Canada on December 19, 2016
Great read! Some funny and touching stories.
Great read! Some funny and touching stories.
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