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Has a sturdy binding with some shelf wear. Worldwide shipping is available! No creases in cover or pages. Light markings and/or highlighting.
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From the Publisher




Get Untamed: The Journal (How to Quit Pleasing and Start Living)
A guided journal from Glennon Doyle, based on her #1 bestseller, Untamed

Description

Product Description

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over two million copies sold! “Packed with incredible insight about what it means to be a woman today.”—Reese Witherspoon (Reese’s Book Club Pick)

In her most revealing and powerful memoir yet, the activist, speaker, bestselling author, and “patron saint of female empowerment” (People) explores the joy and peace we discover when we stop striving to meet others’ expectations and start trusting the voice deep within us.

NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY O: The Oprah Magazine The Washington Post Cosmopolitan Marie ClaireBloomberg Parade • “Untamed will liberate women—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It is phenomenal.”—Elizabeth Gilbert, author of City of Girls and Eat Pray Love


This is how you find yourself.

There is a voice of longing inside each woman. We strive so mightily to be good: good partners, daughters, mothers, employees, and friends. We hope all this striving will make us feel alive. Instead, it leaves us feeling weary, stuck, overwhelmed, and underwhelmed. We look at our lives and wonder: Wasn’t it all supposed to be more beautiful than this? We quickly silence that question, telling ourselves to be grateful, hiding our discontent—even from ourselves.

For many years, Glennon Doyle denied her own discontent. Then, while speaking at a conference, she looked at a woman across the room and fell instantly in love. Three words flooded her mind: There She Is. At first, Glennon assumed these words came to her from on high. But she soon realized they had come to her from within. This was her own voice—the one she had buried beneath decades of numbing addictions, cultural conditioning, and institutional allegiances. This was the voice of the girl she had been before the world told her who to be. Glennon decided to quit abandoning herself and to instead abandon the world’s expectations of her. She quit being good so she could be free. She quit pleasing and started living.

Soulful and uproarious, forceful and tender, Untamed is both an intimate memoir and a galvanizing wake-up call. It is the story of how one woman learned that a responsible mother is not one who slowly dies for her children, but one who shows them how to fully live. It is the story of navigating divorce, forming a new blended family, and discovering that the brokenness or wholeness of a family depends not on its structure but on each member’s ability to bring her full self to the table. And it is the story of how each of us can begin to trust ourselves enough to set boundaries, make peace with our bodies, honor our anger and heartbreak, and unleash our truest, wildest instincts so that we become women who can finally look at ourselves and say: There She Is.

Untamed shows us how to be brave. As Glennon insists: The braver we are, the luckier we get.

Review

“Some books shake you by the shoulder while others steal your heart. In Untamed, Glennon does both at the exact same time.” —Brené Brown

“This memoir is so packed with incredible insight about what it means to be a woman today, what it means to be ‘good,’ and what women will do in order to be loved. I swear I highlighted something in EVERY chapter.” —Reese Witherspoon

“Doyle might just be the patron saint of female empowerment. . . . Here she inspires other women to listen to their intuition and break free of what cages them. . . . Her memoir has a message as clear as a ‘go’ signal: Find and honor your truest self.” People (Book of the Week)

“Reading Glennon Doyle’s memoir, Untamed, is diving into an adventure of what we can become. We collectively grow stronger as we are more willing to ask hard questions.” Ms.
 
“Filled with hopeful messages . . . encourag[ing] women to reject the status quo and follow their intuition . . . This testament to female empowerment and self-love, with an endearing coming-out story at the center, will delight readers.” Publishers Weekly
 
“She is a terrific storyteller. . . . Whether discussing her children or the world outside, challenging conformity, confronting misogyny, or standing up to religious bigotry, her goal as a memoirist (and as a person) is to defy expectations and to help others break out of their cultural cages so that everyone can find their own version of humanity. A bracing jolt of honesty from someone who knows what she wants to say and isn’t afraid to say it.” Booklist (starred review)

“An emotional gut punch . . . an in-depth look at a courageous woman eager to share the wealth of her experiences by embracing vulnerability and reclaiming her inner strength and resiliency. Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.” Kirkus Reviews

About the Author

Author, activist, founder of Together Rising, and host of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast Glennon Doyle is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Untamed, a Reese’s Book Club selection, which has sold over two million copies. She is also the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Love Warrior, an Oprah’s Book Club selection, and Carry On, Warrior. An activist and “patron saint of female empowerment” ( People), Glennon hosts the We Can Do Hard Things podcast. She is the founder and president of Together Rising, an all-women-led nonprofit organization that has revolutionized grassroots philanthropy—raising over $30 million for women, families, and children in crisis. Glennon lives in Florida with her wife and three children.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Part One

caged

sparks

Four years ago, married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman.

Much later, I watched that woman drive away from my home to meet with my parents and share her plan to propose to me. She thought I didn’t know what was happening that Sunday morning, but I knew.

When I heard her car return, I settled into the couch, opened a book, and tried to slow my pulse. She walked through the door and directly toward me, bent down, kissed my forehead. She pushed my hair aside and took a deep breath of my neck, like she always does. Then she stood up and disappeared into the bedroom. I walked to the kitchen to pour some coffee for her, and when I turned around, she was right there in front of me, down on one knee, holding a ring. Her eyes were certain and pleading, wide and laser focused, sky blue, bottomless.

“I couldn’t wait,” she said. “I just could not wait another minute.”

Later, in bed, I laid my head on her chest while we talked about her morning. She’d told my parents, “I love your daughter and grandchildren like I’ve never loved before. I’ve spent my entire life searching and preparing myself for them. I promise you that I will love and protect them forever.” My mother’s lip quivered with fear and courage as she said, “Abby. I have not seen my daughter this alive since she was ten years old.”

Much else was said that morning, but that first response from my mother jumped out at me like a sentence in a novel begging to be underlined:

I have not seen my daughter this alive since she was ten years old.

My mother watched the spark in my eyes fade during my tenth year on Earth. Now, thirty years later, she was witnessing the return of that spark. In the past few months, my entire posture had changed. I looked regal to her. And a little scary.

After that day, I began to ask myself: Where did my spark go at ten? How had I lost myself?

I’ve done my research and learned this: Ten is when we learn how to be good girls and boys. Ten is when children begin to let go of who they are in order to become what the world expects them to be. Ten is when our formal taming begins.

Ten is when the world sat me down, told me to be quiet, and pointed toward my cages:

These are the feelings you may express.

This is the version of womanhood you will mimic.

This is the body you must strive for.

These are the things you will believe.

These are the people you may love.

Those are the people you will fear.

This is the kind of life you will want.

Make yourself fit. You’ll be uncomfortable at first, but don’t worry—eventually you’ll forget you’re caged. Soon this will just feel like: life.

I wanted to be a good girl, so I tried to control myself. I chose a personality, a body, a faith, and a sexuality so tiny I had to hold my breath to fit myself inside. Then I promptly became very sick.

When I became a good girl, I also became a bulimic. None of us can hold our breath all the time. Bulimia was where I exhaled. It was where I refused to comply, indulged my hunger, and expressed my fury. I became animalistic during my daily binges. Then I’d drape myself over the toilet and purge because a good girl must stay very small to fit inside her cages. She must leave no outward evidence of her hunger. Good girls aren’t hungry, furious, or wild. All of the things that make a woman human are a good girl’s dirty secret.

Back then, I suspected that my bulimia meant that I was crazy. In high school, did a stint in a mental hospital and my suspicion was confirmed.

I understand myself differently now.

I was just a caged girl made for wide-open skies.

I wasn’t crazy. I was a goddamn cheetah.

When I saw Abby, I remembered my wild. I wanted her, and it was the first time I wanted something beyond what I had been trained to want. I loved her, and it was the first time I loved someone beyond those I had been expected to love. Creating a life with her was the first original idea I’d ever had and the first decision I made as a free woman. After thirty years of contorting myself to fit inside someone else’s idea of love, I finally had a love that fit—custom made for me, by me. I’d finally asked myself what I wanted instead of what the world wanted from me. I felt alive. I’d tasted freedom, and I wanted more.

I looked hard at my faith, my friendships, my work, my sexuality, my entire life and asked: How much of this was my idea? Do I truly want any of this, or is this what I was conditioned to want? Which of my beliefs are of my own creation and which were programmed into me? How much of who I’ve become is inherent, and how much was just inherited? How much of the way I look and speak and behave is just how other people have trained me to look and speak and behave? How much of what I’ve spent my life chasing are just dirty pink bunnies? Who was I before I became who the world told me to be?

Over time, I walked away from my cages. I slowly built a new marriage, a new faith, a new worldview, a new purpose, a new family, and a new identity by design instead of default. From my imagination instead of my indoctrination. From my wild instead of from my training.

What follows are stories about how I got caged—and how I got free.

apples

I am ten years old, and I’m sitting in a small room in the back of Nativity Catholic Church with twenty other kids. I am at CCD, where my parents send me on Wednesday nights to learn about God. Our CCD teacher is my classmate’s mom. I do not remember her name, but I do remember that she keeps telling us that she is an accountant during the day. Her family needed service hours, so she volunteered to work in the gift shop. Instead, the church assigned her to room 423, fifth-grade CCD. So now—on Wednesdays between 6:30 and 7:30 p.m.—she teaches children about God.

She asks us to sit on the carpet in front of her chair, because she is going to explain to us how God made people. I hurry to get a spot in front. I am very curious about how and why I was made. I notice that our teacher does not have a Bible or any other books in her lap. She is going to speak from memory. I am impressed.

She begins.

“God made Adam and put him in a beautiful garden. Adam was God’s favorite creation, so He told Adam that his only jobs were to be happy, rule over the garden, and name the animals. Adam’s life was almost perfect. Except that he got lonely and stressed. He wanted some company and help naming the animals. So he told God that he wanted a companion and a helper. One night, God helped Adam give birth to Eve. From inside Adam’s body, a woman was born. That is why she is called woman. Because women came from the womb of man. Womb—man.”

I am so amazed that I forget to raise my hand.

“Wait. Adam gave birth to Eve? But don’t people come from women’s bodies? Shouldn’t boys be called woman? Shouldn’t all people be called woman?”

My teacher says, “Raise your hand, Glennon.”

I raise my hand. She motions for me to put it back down. The boy sitting to my left rolls his eyes at me.

Our teacher goes on.

“Adam and Eve were happy, and everything stayed perfect for a while.

“But then God said there was one tree they couldn’t eat from: the Tree of Knowledge. Even though it was the only thing in the entire garden that Eve wasn’t allowed to want, she wanted an apple from that tree anyway. So one day, she got hungry, picked the apple off the tree, and took a bite. Then she tricked Adam into taking a bite, too. As soon as Adam bit into the apple, Eve and Adam felt shame for the first time and tried to hide from God. But God sees everything, so God knew. God banished Adam and Eve from the beautiful garden. Then He cursed them and their future children, and for the first time, suffering existed on the earth. This is why we still suffer today, because Eve’s original sin is inside of all of us. That sin is wanting to know more than we are supposed to know, wanting more instead of being grateful for what we have, and doing what we want to do instead of what we should do.”

That was some careful accounting. I had no further questions.

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 54.6 out of 5
54,726 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Michelle B. R.
1.0 out of 5 stars
A little annoyed with Glennon.
Reviewed in the United States on March 11, 2020
I was very excited about the promise of Untamed. Which was touted as telling the Love Story of Glennon and Abby. First, I am more than half way through this book, and their love story has only been touched upon, very briefly. So that is disappointing. But what really... See more
I was very excited about the promise of Untamed. Which was touted as telling the Love Story of Glennon and Abby. First, I am more than half way through this book, and their love story has only been touched upon, very briefly. So that is disappointing. But what really irks me is Glennon''s changing narrative. And I understand that Glennon herself has changed a lot in the last decade. That she is evolving. But there were many people who Loved her previous books, who bought in to the message she was selling then. Who felt that those books and words spoke to them on a personal level. And now Glennon totally dismisses those works. At the beginning of one of the chapters in Untamed, she literally pulls a quote from Love Warrior, about how she was born broken and sensitive, and then says "Some Crap I wrote about myself in my previous book". GAH. So for all the people swooning over Untamed, for all you know, in ten years she could be saying this was all crap and some phase she was going through. I just don''t trust her as an authentic voice anymore.
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Serina Hertel
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
G and Untamed are a balm for a hurting world
Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2020
To give a light synopsis of my last week: I am a traveling nurse practitioner. I work in urgent care in WV while my home, spouse and family are in Kansas. I stay in a hotel. I battle loneliness, fatigue and homesickness. My anxiety is high due to the current... See more
To give a light synopsis of my last week: I am a traveling nurse practitioner. I work in urgent care in WV while my home, spouse and family are in Kansas. I stay in a hotel. I battle loneliness, fatigue and homesickness. My anxiety is high due to the current coronavirus.

Enter Untamed: the one thing keeping me going during this whole thing. Glennon''s words and stories have been a balm for my soul. A battle cry. Permission to feel all my feelings about my current situation and about my life in general. Inspiration to keep going even when I am tired and anxious because nursing is what I''m here for. As G says, "find what your makes your heart ache and follow it".

This book made me feel more seen than anything that I have ever heard or read (typing that just gave me shivery dots). To know that there are other canaries out there like Glennon and Tish comforted me so much. The reassurance that there is nothing wrong with me for being an empath and feeling life so deeply was a turning point for me.

As the spawn of two English Lit teachers, I am an underliner by nature. I should''ve just stopped because nearly the entire book is underlined :). I love that it is a collection of essays. Made it so easy to read one or two during a break or before bed at night.

Glennon, you are a breath of fresh air in a very scary time. I feel like you have taken the yoke off my shoulders hundreds of times over the course of reading this. Your consistent presence for your people is unmatched. You and Abby and your family are a testament to ''doing hard things'', a phrase my best friend and I exchange a lot to keep each other going (I sent her a copy).

I will end with this: as G wrote about getting out of the cages that society has put us in, I thought of one of my favorite song lyrics many times. In ''Brave'' Sara Bareilles sings "Maybe there''s a way out of the cage where you live, maybe one of these days you can let the light in, show me how big your brave is". I feel like these two creative contemporaries are lights in the darkness for us right now. Thank you, G, for this gem.

Bottom line: READ IT. Should be required reading for every female in my opinion.
1,327 people found this helpful
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JB
1.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Not for everyone, try a sample first.
Reviewed in the United States on March 15, 2020
I stopped reading. I respect some people may like it but I don’t find it really insightful or novel. It doesn’t help me make any new connections. If you’re looking for something with more depth try “Women Who Run With the Wolves”
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Anna Soman
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
There are no words...
Reviewed in the United States on March 10, 2020
I updated this review as I read... By page 16, I’d already sobbed, laughed, sobbed, reconsidered who I am, how I live my life, and what I’m doing next, and cried again. So much fire lit. This is a masterpiece. Thank the universe (and Glennon) it published now.... See more
I updated this review as I read...

By page 16, I’d already sobbed, laughed, sobbed, reconsidered who I am, how I live my life, and what I’m doing next, and cried again. So much fire lit. This is a masterpiece. Thank the universe (and Glennon) it published now. Lord knows we need this now. It is already one of my top favorite books ever, and I read a lot. Like, a LOT.

She talks about learning to access her own inner Knowing, which I had experienced as a miracle a few times in my life before I learned about this from the Guides in one of my other top books, I Am the Word by Paul Selig (and his other books). But this time I got a deeper, more practical grasp and inspiration around how and why to access that deeper knowing every day. She’s right that it only ever tells you just the next step... Kyle Cease talks about that exactly the same way, too.

I’m also feeling a revolution inside that I was already opening up to take full force... including the revolutionary wild act of feeling it all. Everything. FEELING pain, letting it burn, guide. She says, “I will continue to become only if I resist extinguishing myself a million times a day. If I can sit in the fire of my own feelings, I will keep becoming.“

By page 89, it is 3:41 am, and with my two small children asleep near my bed, I quietly sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, as my heart broke open. As I FELT. I’ve barely cried in years. In decades. I’m usually just trying to disconnect and numb feelings enough to keep going, to fit in, to stay the course, everything is fine. I’m fine.

I’m not fine. Our world is no longer fine.

p115: my husband called me on video chat (we’re thousands of miles apart right now) and he said, “Whoa, you look different. You’re glowing.”

Fire. Burning. Feeling.

p133: Turns out cracking open and feeling all the feelings isn’t just pain. Deep, body shaking joy came to our house today. Car, actually. After a difficult to describe very intense session of 5 people all air-planing our take-out lasagna bites to each other in our parked car and absolutely laughing out assess off this afternoon, my six year old says to me tonight right before bed, “It was so, so nice to hear Mama laughing. I’d say it is better than getting a toy.”

P... somewhere after p 200 some major personal shifts and awakenings occurred... too personal to convey at this time.

P324 I’ve been running from my mother since I left for college. Really since I got a car in high school, and before that when I fell in love with my high school freshman boyfriend, who was also my best friend. I escaped into the safe shelter of his love and caring, laughter and companionship.

And now, at 37 years old, it’s time to stop. Because of this book. I can stop, be with it, with her. To let it burn. To face the pain, the triggers, and let the fire engulf me and burn away what was never real. To tell the truth, and face my mother with an open heart.

I just moved in with my mom last night. I’m literally quarantined in small house with just the two of us and my two small boys (6 and 3). For the first time in my whole life, I am not afraid.

Thank you Glennon. My God... thank you.

I’m now going to click the “beginning” button in my kindle and read it all again.

I’m a little nervous and excited... the wild way my life is cracking open... I have no idea how, maybe I was really ready... this book has immediately and shockingly changed everything, and given me the map for change with truth, freedom and grace. With love.

Yes to the heartbreak. Yes to the pain. Yes to love. Yes to myself and my life untamed, in truth.

I am free.

*Update 6/30/20
I was just reflecting on the lasting ways I have changed since I read this book, and a huge one is being now pretty deeply comfortable being with the full range of my feelings, and also my children’s feelings. From that place, I’m able to help my children feel safe being with and feeling all their very strong emotions and experiences. I can help them let it burn. I can’t protect them from uncomfortable feelings, thank god I don’t need to. I can be present with them as they feel, next to them. I’m here. Feelings are for feeling. We can be curious. We can lean in.

*7/17/21 Update, Note to the publisher on the paperback version:

After 10 minutes of trying to figure out if Glennon just published a new book, I realized the paperback version of Untamed has a new title: “stop pleasing, start living.” I was really taken aback, and honestly, I got a stomach ache. I assume this is something the publisher insisted on, someone’s idea to market this book. Except it was stunningly perfect before. That addition to the title, to me, makes it suddenly sound like a cheap self-help book, not a masterpiece of world-shattering insight, passion, inspiration, raw honesty and beauty that can stand on its own. It’s a work of art that needs to be free for people to interpret and have whatever breakthrough or opening they personally get from it. Does the Mona Lisa need a tag line to tell you to see her so you’ll stop frowning? This book is a huge, god damned cheetah, and to me that short phase “stop pleasing, start living” shoves it in a small box. Leashes it like a golden retriever, to look like just another lame fix-yourself book on the shelf. Dictates what people should do. Uh… isn’t that kind of the opposite of Glennon’s actual message? Stopping pleasing is NOT what I got from my beloved time with this masterpiece. If some people got that from reading the book, that’s great. But I’m sure that’s only a fraction of the life-altering magic experienced by many readers. Please, publisher, go back to the original cover for the paperback. It was perfect.
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indy
1.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Don’t waste your brain cells!
Reviewed in the United States on April 18, 2020
Nope. Nope. Nope. I was so excited for this book. Having never encountered author Glennon Doyle, I was hooked by the sample available via amazon. It hooked me right away...fun short anecdotes that resonated. But then I got the book and it seems the sample was the only... See more
Nope. Nope. Nope. I was so excited for this book. Having never encountered author Glennon Doyle, I was hooked by the sample available via amazon. It hooked me right away...fun short anecdotes that resonated. But then I got the book and it seems the sample was the only worthwhile portion of the book. Her sanctimonious, self-centered “keys” are the stuff of formula self-help books. It’s all at once cheesy, annoying, and repetitive. I wanted to love this book but I couldn’t even make it through the first third before deciding that it needs to be returned. (I did jump forward to see if there was any redeeming quality but alas I did not find one). I wanted a memoir and got a not so catchy and mind-numbingly winding series of crappy blog posts. I don’t know if it’s Glennon’s or her editor’s fault but it doesn’t really matter as it’s just not worth your time!
412 people found this helpful
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Sandy K
1.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
What is this book doing under Christian books and living?????
Reviewed in the United States on May 14, 2020
As a Christian I feel this book goes against my Christian morals and values. I purchased this book based on Reese''s book club recommendation. It is by far the worst pick she has made in my opinion. Glennon not once mentions that the Christian faith is based on the... See more
As a Christian I feel this book goes against my Christian morals and values. I purchased this book based on Reese''s book club recommendation. It is by far the worst pick she has made in my opinion. Glennon not once mentions that the Christian faith is based on the Bible-the Word of God. She blames the church leaders for following it. We can''t add or take away from the Bible to conform to her lifestyle choice. I see a woman who still deals with inner turmoil even though she listens to her "knowledge" and "imagination" and claims that this is her way to get out of her cages and live a more fulfilling life. She''s clearly a mess still. She''s all over the place. It seems that her "meds" aren''t helping her as she''s clearly still unstable. I think the real issue is that she''s missing God in her life. Instead she thinks she is free by making her own rules not following His. Clearly she''s not. She''s still in her own cage dealing with her own inner demons and is confused as ever.
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dana dunn
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Get A Room...... and read it
Reviewed in the United States on March 11, 2020
If there were ten stars I’d give it eleven. I got a hotel room all to myself. Left my husband with our nine children and read cover to cover. It’s been on preorder and each day I would look to see how soon March 10 was. Worth every. single. Second. of waiting.... See more
If there were ten stars I’d give it eleven.
I got a hotel room all to myself. Left my husband with our nine children and read cover to cover. It’s been on preorder and each day I would look to see how soon March 10 was. Worth every. single. Second. of waiting.
What a gem. What a gift. Pure magic.
I called my husband from the hotel and read aloud.
I’m already rereading and it’s March 11. I’ll buy all the copies.
417 people found this helpful
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Emendez
1.0 out of 5 stars
Garbage
Reviewed in the United States on April 16, 2020
I don’t understand the hype or appeal of this book at all. I got about 30% through and had to toss it aside. She essentially says that you should live by whatever you feel or believe at the moment, which by her own admission, changes all the time. Any decent therapist will... See more
I don’t understand the hype or appeal of this book at all. I got about 30% through and had to toss it aside. She essentially says that you should live by whatever you feel or believe at the moment, which by her own admission, changes all the time. Any decent therapist will tell you that this is really terrible advice. So I’m not going to listen to whatever else this woman has to say and you probably shouldn’t either.
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Top reviews from other countries

Rosemary Mac Cabe
1.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A book written to be turned into Instagram quotes
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 29, 2020
Did not enjoy. Do not recommend. Lots of it makes no sense but sounds “inspirational”. Complete drudgery. I’d love to hear you argue this with me because I genuinely do not understand the hype at all.
401 people found this helpful
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London1977
1.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Fairly focused on motherhood
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 16, 2020
I really wanted to love this book after friends raved about it. It just didn’t grab me in the same way, I didn’t even finish it. In particular I felt it very geared towards mothers, and motherhood being the thing that saved her, and motherhood being pretty much the be all...See more
I really wanted to love this book after friends raved about it. It just didn’t grab me in the same way, I didn’t even finish it. In particular I felt it very geared towards mothers, and motherhood being the thing that saved her, and motherhood being pretty much the be all and end all. It may have got better, but I was so irritated I stopped reading half way through. Great if you are a mother, very exclusive if, for any reason, you are not and might feel sensitive about that. Just not for me.
299 people found this helpful
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Lisa
3.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A book length, Mom''s version of an Instagram ''inspirational'' meme feed.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 13, 2020
I have been shivering with anticpation waiting for this book: that angry, authentic, deeply female voice from Love Warrior turned up a notch and set free to roar because she''s writing about finding true love. And more of Glennon''s gorgeous voice and writing. But, for me,...See more
I have been shivering with anticpation waiting for this book: that angry, authentic, deeply female voice from Love Warrior turned up a notch and set free to roar because she''s writing about finding true love. And more of Glennon''s gorgeous voice and writing. But, for me, this book does not deliver. The ''keys'' format totally dilutes her voice, it''s stilted, it ironically does not allow her to really let loose, and there''s only a few places where I felt I could hear her true unvarnished and unmanipulated words - and these places are so obvious I''m sure they ring like a bell for other readers too. I can feel them like a vibration in my bones. But, sadly, I think a too-clever editor ruined this incredibly important moment and convinced Glennon she needed the self-help gimmick to give the book structure - for me, all it does it turn the whole thing into a book length, Mom''s version of an Instagram ''inspirational'' meme feed. I adore Glennon, and Abby, and everything they do on a daily basis to help others by living their totally authentic and brave lives, but this book, for me, didn''t capture any of that. I''m sad.
162 people found this helpful
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Sally Collins
1.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
I don’t get the hype
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 4, 2020
Sorry to say I found this book uninspiring, quite dull, and I simply couldn’t make it to the end. I’m honestly not sure what the fuss is about. I read the hype and was really excited, but it’s not for me at all.
127 people found this helpful
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Foxy female
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
I am officially untamed
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 18, 2020
So I have followed Glennon’s journey having first seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. I enjoyed Love Warrior and in the face of all the life changes she has gone through since then - which I’ve read about online - I was initially unsure whether the book would tell me...See more
So I have followed Glennon’s journey having first seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. I enjoyed Love Warrior and in the face of all the life changes she has gone through since then - which I’ve read about online - I was initially unsure whether the book would tell me anything I hadn’t already heard about her story. I was so wrong. Quarter of the way through I was texting my best friend saying “you have to read this”. Several pages later I was like “I’ve not even finished it and I’ve already ordered you your own copy”. I read it cover to cover TWICE in one weekend. The second time with a highlighter What is so great about it? - her message for women and how easy it is to get trapped in lives that aren’t REALLY who we are - her message for young girls - and the great story of how Abby coached their daughter through sport that sometimes you have to do hard things that you don’t want to do in order to get to what you DO want - her message for boys that they owe responsibility to their families and to muck in with all the chores at home - her message about online porn and what it does to young people’s brains if they’re not taught healthy messages about sex I could go on. But I won’t. Cos you should hear it from Glennon not me. It made an immediate difference to me. I got up and out and asked for what I wanted in an area of my life. And lo and behold it looks like I’m gonna get it Be untamed.
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Get Untamed: The Journal (How to Quit Pleasing and Start Living)
A guided journal from Glennon Doyle, based on her #1 bestseller, Untamed

Description

Product Description

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over two million copies sold! “Packed with incredible insight about what it means to be a woman today.”—Reese Witherspoon (Reese’s Book Club Pick)

In her most revealing and powerful memoir yet, the activist, speaker, bestselling author, and “patron saint of female empowerment” (People) explores the joy and peace we discover when we stop striving to meet others’ expectations and start trusting the voice deep within us.

NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY O: The Oprah Magazine The Washington Post Cosmopolitan Marie ClaireBloomberg Parade • “Untamed will liberate women—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It is phenomenal.”—Elizabeth Gilbert, author of City of Girls and Eat Pray Love


This is how you find yourself.

There is a voice of longing inside each woman. We strive so mightily to be good: good partners, daughters, mothers, employees, and friends. We hope all this striving will make us feel alive. Instead, it leaves us feeling weary, stuck, overwhelmed, and underwhelmed. We look at our lives and wonder: Wasn’t it all supposed to be more beautiful than this? We quickly silence that question, telling ourselves to be grateful, hiding our discontent—even from ourselves.

For many years, Glennon Doyle denied her own discontent. Then, while speaking at a conference, she looked at a woman across the room and fell instantly in love. Three words flooded her mind: There She Is. At first, Glennon assumed these words came to her from on high. But she soon realized they had come to her from within. This was her own voice—the one she had buried beneath decades of numbing addictions, cultural conditioning, and institutional allegiances. This was the voice of the girl she had been before the world told her who to be. Glennon decided to quit abandoning herself and to instead abandon the world’s expectations of her. She quit being good so she could be free. She quit pleasing and started living.

Soulful and uproarious, forceful and tender, Untamed is both an intimate memoir and a galvanizing wake-up call. It is the story of how one woman learned that a responsible mother is not one who slowly dies for her children, but one who shows them how to fully live. It is the story of navigating divorce, forming a new blended family, and discovering that the brokenness or wholeness of a family depends not on its structure but on each member’s ability to bring her full self to the table. And it is the story of how each of us can begin to trust ourselves enough to set boundaries, make peace with our bodies, honor our anger and heartbreak, and unleash our truest, wildest instincts so that we become women who can finally look at ourselves and say: There She Is.

Untamed shows us how to be brave. As Glennon insists: The braver we are, the luckier we get.

Review

“Some books shake you by the shoulder while others steal your heart. In Untamed, Glennon does both at the exact same time.” —Brené Brown

“This memoir is so packed with incredible insight about what it means to be a woman today, what it means to be ‘good,’ and what women will do in order to be loved. I swear I highlighted something in EVERY chapter.” —Reese Witherspoon

“Doyle might just be the patron saint of female empowerment. . . . Here she inspires other women to listen to their intuition and break free of what cages them. . . . Her memoir has a message as clear as a ‘go’ signal: Find and honor your truest self.” People (Book of the Week)

“Reading Glennon Doyle’s memoir, Untamed, is diving into an adventure of what we can become. We collectively grow stronger as we are more willing to ask hard questions.” Ms.
 
“Filled with hopeful messages . . . encourag[ing] women to reject the status quo and follow their intuition . . . This testament to female empowerment and self-love, with an endearing coming-out story at the center, will delight readers.” Publishers Weekly
 
“She is a terrific storyteller. . . . Whether discussing her children or the world outside, challenging conformity, confronting misogyny, or standing up to religious bigotry, her goal as a memoirist (and as a person) is to defy expectations and to help others break out of their cultural cages so that everyone can find their own version of humanity. A bracing jolt of honesty from someone who knows what she wants to say and isn’t afraid to say it.” Booklist (starred review)

“An emotional gut punch . . . an in-depth look at a courageous woman eager to share the wealth of her experiences by embracing vulnerability and reclaiming her inner strength and resiliency. Doyle offers another lucid, inspiring chronicle of female empowerment and the rewards of self-awareness and renewal.” Kirkus Reviews

About the Author

Author, activist, founder of Together Rising, and host of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast Glennon Doyle is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Untamed, a Reese’s Book Club selection, which has sold over two million copies. She is also the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Love Warrior, an Oprah’s Book Club selection, and Carry On, Warrior. An activist and “patron saint of female empowerment” ( People), Glennon hosts the We Can Do Hard Things podcast. She is the founder and president of Together Rising, an all-women-led nonprofit organization that has revolutionized grassroots philanthropy—raising over $30 million for women, families, and children in crisis. Glennon lives in Florida with her wife and three children.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Part One

caged

sparks

Four years ago, married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman.

Much later, I watched that woman drive away from my home to meet with my parents and share her plan to propose to me. She thought I didn’t know what was happening that Sunday morning, but I knew.

When I heard her car return, I settled into the couch, opened a book, and tried to slow my pulse. She walked through the door and directly toward me, bent down, kissed my forehead. She pushed my hair aside and took a deep breath of my neck, like she always does. Then she stood up and disappeared into the bedroom. I walked to the kitchen to pour some coffee for her, and when I turned around, she was right there in front of me, down on one knee, holding a ring. Her eyes were certain and pleading, wide and laser focused, sky blue, bottomless.

“I couldn’t wait,” she said. “I just could not wait another minute.”

Later, in bed, I laid my head on her chest while we talked about her morning. She’d told my parents, “I love your daughter and grandchildren like I’ve never loved before. I’ve spent my entire life searching and preparing myself for them. I promise you that I will love and protect them forever.” My mother’s lip quivered with fear and courage as she said, “Abby. I have not seen my daughter this alive since she was ten years old.”

Much else was said that morning, but that first response from my mother jumped out at me like a sentence in a novel begging to be underlined:

I have not seen my daughter this alive since she was ten years old.

My mother watched the spark in my eyes fade during my tenth year on Earth. Now, thirty years later, she was witnessing the return of that spark. In the past few months, my entire posture had changed. I looked regal to her. And a little scary.

After that day, I began to ask myself: Where did my spark go at ten? How had I lost myself?

I’ve done my research and learned this: Ten is when we learn how to be good girls and boys. Ten is when children begin to let go of who they are in order to become what the world expects them to be. Ten is when our formal taming begins.

Ten is when the world sat me down, told me to be quiet, and pointed toward my cages:

These are the feelings you may express.

This is the version of womanhood you will mimic.

This is the body you must strive for.

These are the things you will believe.

These are the people you may love.

Those are the people you will fear.

This is the kind of life you will want.

Make yourself fit. You’ll be uncomfortable at first, but don’t worry—eventually you’ll forget you’re caged. Soon this will just feel like: life.

I wanted to be a good girl, so I tried to control myself. I chose a personality, a body, a faith, and a sexuality so tiny I had to hold my breath to fit myself inside. Then I promptly became very sick.

When I became a good girl, I also became a bulimic. None of us can hold our breath all the time. Bulimia was where I exhaled. It was where I refused to comply, indulged my hunger, and expressed my fury. I became animalistic during my daily binges. Then I’d drape myself over the toilet and purge because a good girl must stay very small to fit inside her cages. She must leave no outward evidence of her hunger. Good girls aren’t hungry, furious, or wild. All of the things that make a woman human are a good girl’s dirty secret.

Back then, I suspected that my bulimia meant that I was crazy. In high school, did a stint in a mental hospital and my suspicion was confirmed.

I understand myself differently now.

I was just a caged girl made for wide-open skies.

I wasn’t crazy. I was a goddamn cheetah.

When I saw Abby, I remembered my wild. I wanted her, and it was the first time I wanted something beyond what I had been trained to want. I loved her, and it was the first time I loved someone beyond those I had been expected to love. Creating a life with her was the first original idea I’d ever had and the first decision I made as a free woman. After thirty years of contorting myself to fit inside someone else’s idea of love, I finally had a love that fit—custom made for me, by me. I’d finally asked myself what I wanted instead of what the world wanted from me. I felt alive. I’d tasted freedom, and I wanted more.

I looked hard at my faith, my friendships, my work, my sexuality, my entire life and asked: How much of this was my idea? Do I truly want any of this, or is this what I was conditioned to want? Which of my beliefs are of my own creation and which were programmed into me? How much of who I’ve become is inherent, and how much was just inherited? How much of the way I look and speak and behave is just how other people have trained me to look and speak and behave? How much of what I’ve spent my life chasing are just dirty pink bunnies? Who was I before I became who the world told me to be?

Over time, I walked away from my cages. I slowly built a new marriage, a new faith, a new worldview, a new purpose, a new family, and a new identity by design instead of default. From my imagination instead of my indoctrination. From my wild instead of from my training.

What follows are stories about how I got caged—and how I got free.

apples

I am ten years old, and I’m sitting in a small room in the back of Nativity Catholic Church with twenty other kids. I am at CCD, where my parents send me on Wednesday nights to learn about God. Our CCD teacher is my classmate’s mom. I do not remember her name, but I do remember that she keeps telling us that she is an accountant during the day. Her family needed service hours, so she volunteered to work in the gift shop. Instead, the church assigned her to room 423, fifth-grade CCD. So now—on Wednesdays between 6:30 and 7:30 p.m.—she teaches children about God.

She asks us to sit on the carpet in front of her chair, because she is going to explain to us how God made people. I hurry to get a spot in front. I am very curious about how and why I was made. I notice that our teacher does not have a Bible or any other books in her lap. She is going to speak from memory. I am impressed.

She begins.

“God made Adam and put him in a beautiful garden. Adam was God’s favorite creation, so He told Adam that his only jobs were to be happy, rule over the garden, and name the animals. Adam’s life was almost perfect. Except that he got lonely and stressed. He wanted some company and help naming the animals. So he told God that he wanted a companion and a helper. One night, God helped Adam give birth to Eve. From inside Adam’s body, a woman was born. That is why she is called woman. Because women came from the womb of man. Womb—man.”

I am so amazed that I forget to raise my hand.

“Wait. Adam gave birth to Eve? But don’t people come from women’s bodies? Shouldn’t boys be called woman? Shouldn’t all people be called woman?”

My teacher says, “Raise your hand, Glennon.”

I raise my hand. She motions for me to put it back down. The boy sitting to my left rolls his eyes at me.

Our teacher goes on.

“Adam and Eve were happy, and everything stayed perfect for a while.

“But then God said there was one tree they couldn’t eat from: the Tree of Knowledge. Even though it was the only thing in the entire garden that Eve wasn’t allowed to want, she wanted an apple from that tree anyway. So one day, she got hungry, picked the apple off the tree, and took a bite. Then she tricked Adam into taking a bite, too. As soon as Adam bit into the apple, Eve and Adam felt shame for the first time and tried to hide from God. But God sees everything, so God knew. God banished Adam and Eve from the beautiful garden. Then He cursed them and their future children, and for the first time, suffering existed on the earth. This is why we still suffer today, because Eve’s original sin is inside of all of us. That sin is wanting to know more than we are supposed to know, wanting more instead of being grateful for what we have, and doing what we want to do instead of what we should do.”

That was some careful accounting. I had no further questions.

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